On getting off my back and buns

Even though there are exactly six people who read my blog, all six of you have been giving me a hard time about not posting anything for a while. Well, here's something: I'm busy. I've got lots of Irons in the Fire, lots of Buns in the Oven. Just kidding! Please keep reading my blog!

Speaking of having lots of buns in the oven, Elliott has been talking a lot lately about wanting to father a child. He's been reading books about what daddies can expect when their wives are expecting, and checking out websites about how to have babies with women. He's also got a nice mahogany crib set up in his room, which is ironic only because he sleeps on a semi-deflated air mattress. Or maybe he sleeps in the crib, I don't know.

Last night, Elliott skipped into the living room holding a piece of paper.
"Hey Ted! I've got a list of little boy names all ready to go for when the baby comes!"
"Cool, Elliott!" I said, not wanting to deflate his enthusiasm. "Let's hear them!"
"Ok ok ok! The first one is Snap Dragon Stevens! It's a kind of flower!"
"Uh..."
"He can go by either 'Snap' or 'Dragon'! And my wife and I could beckon him by snapping our fingers!"
"I don't think I like that one, Elliott. What other names are you considering?"
"Just that one. I've pretty much decided on Snap Dragon Stevens."
"Oh."
And then Elliott skipped back into his room, snapping his fingers. During breakfast this morning, he told me excitedly that "Snap Dragon Stevens" would work for a girl's name too. I think he's got his heart set on a little boy, though. You can see it in his eyes. Also, he bought some light blue paint for his room. Also, he's been eating lots of pickles and fish eggs because he heard that they increase the efficacy of his Y chromosome or something. I'm not sure I buy all those old wives' tales, but I don't think all the pickles will hurt him. Also, he eats tons of fudge pops.

I know this blog has been a little anti-Elliott in previous posts, but I'd just like to pay him a quick complement. Elliott is an extremely dedicated guy, and when he puts his mind to something, he doesn't waiver or lose focus. I'd be willing to bet that he's going to get some girl pregnant within the month. We'll see! He's going to be a great dad!