On toilet paper parties

Last night was my roommate's birthday, and he threw a big party at the house. A good time was had by all. 30 people or so came by over the course of the evening.

This morning when I woke up, I had to poop, as I am wont to do. But I was enjoying laying in bed, watching youtube videos of the band Devo. After an hour or so, I realized that I could put off pooping no longer, so I ran into the bathroom. There was no toilet paper.
I bought toilet paper for the household last time, and we keep extra rolls over the washer. There were no extra rolls. We were all out. The poop wiggled and jiggled inside me. It was time.

I'll let your imagination fill in the rest of the story. I've blanked it all out.

The next thing I remember, I was standing in the isle at the store, trying to decide how big of a package of toilet paper to purchase. I went with eight rolls. Four rolls, and you have to go back next week. Twenty-four rolls and you look like some sort of poop-freak. "Man oh man," people whisper to one another. "That guy must poop all the time."

I also bought a nose-hair trimmer. These days, hairs grow out of my nose. I found trimming them to be extremely satisfying. The trimmer kinda slowed down when it encountered my nose hairs, like when you push a lawnmower over really tall grass. I felt like I was accomplishing something.

Here's a few closing thoughts:
1. People should bring their own toilet paper to parties, or bring toilet paper as a present.
2. If that doesn't work, the local government should provide everyone with toilet paper, like water. It should be shot into our houses via pneumatic tubes. This way, we wont ever run out.
3. This blog was about poop and nose hair. Deal with it. You said you wanted me to blog more.